?

Log in

awesome like an opossum from winsconsin [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
alphabetically delicious

[ website | Zada & Zan & Icarus ]
[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

(no subject) [Nov. 14th, 2005|01:47 pm]
alphabetically delicious
1. What was the first car your family had?
My family? Pshaw, like I would know that. I knew my dad had a hippie wagon in college, and I knew my parents were married when he was in college...so I guess the hippie wagon. It was a VW van thing, and was painted...in hippie colours. It also had curtains. Flower curtains. He lived in the back, and kept it parked in the dorm parking lots. And police officers thought he was a hippie. He was arrested...alot.

2. What was the name of your first pet and why?
My first pet was Frisky, this orange fluffy cat with a missing ear. He looked like the cat on the frisky cat food bag. Except missing an ear. And I swear, I had nothing to do with that missing ear.

3. What did you want to be when you grew up?
Your stalker.

4. What was the name of your elementary school?
Lake Elementary. And there was no lake in sight. ='(. not for miles...and miles.

5. Who was your first best friend?
Matthew, some dark haired kid down the street. We slept with each other and everything.

6. Are you still friends today, and if not, what happened?
He ditched me in first grade cause the boys made fun of him for being friends with a girl. I then ditched him and told him that even cooties were afraid of him. We then filed for divorce. I won the fort.

7. What was your favorite board game?
The one where you murder people.

8. Did you play house or other make believe games?
House was for losers. I played the dangerous lives of wolves, lions, horses, elephants, etc...who lived very dramatic lives. Something was maimed, paralyzed, killed, etc...but they were animals, and thus exceptable.

9. Were you a Dungeons and Dragons geek?
Hell yeah! Though I just like the dungeons, and the dragons, seperately and not as an unit.

10. Did you sleep with stuffed animals as a kid?
I feed them to my real animals.

11. Do you still sleep with stuffed animals?
I sleep with Melman.

12. Who was the first person you looked up to when you were younger?
You.

13. Who was your favorite relative?
The ones that people talked about in hush voices and alluded to secret past grievances. Those kept my interest for hours as I tried to figure out exactly killed who, or what the St. George incident was.

14. Were you short or tall in elementary school?
Fat.

15. Were you teased in school?
yes. oh god, the teasing! make it stop! make it stop! Oh god, not the peanut butter! anything but the peanut butter! ah! ah! ah! (That was a flashback, in case you didn't know.)

16. What was the name of your favorite teacher?
the ones that are still alive.

17. What was the name of your least favorite teacher?
it doesnt matter now. they are all gone...ahahahha, all gone! ahahhahahah!!!!...uh...yeah. ||shifty eyes||

18. What was your best subject in school?
the ones I got As in...that was basically everything. Oh see my arrogance? Good! Cause I am even arrogant about being arrogant so please admire my arrogance and inflate that arrogance even more.

19. What was your worst subject in school?
the one where I got a B...oh now, you are wondering what that subject was, arent you? Its eating you up inside and makes you feel as if you have bad gas. Well, news flash...that IS bad gas.

20. Did you do well in Physical Education?
Does that include tackling people, injuring them, and taking their money? Then yes, yes I was.

21. Were you clumsy when you were younger?
I am more graceful then a swan walking on land with a hobbled foot and missing not just one eye, but both eyes. Oh and also a foot on the non hobbled leg.

22. Who was your favorite band as a kid?
The rubber band man group. Dont know what I am talking about? Well, maybe you should've watched your Muppet Show.

23. What was your favorite movie as a kid?
I watched movies? Oh I am a deprived child. ='(.

24. Did your parents read to you?
They still do. I never learned how to read or write. ='(.

25. Did you have a favorite book?
Yes.

26. What was your favorite restaurant as a kid?
They keep me in a basement. They threw down Chinese every once in a while. They really love me. ^________________________________________________^.

27. What TV or movie star did you have a crush on?
||pets famous tv or movie star that is stashed in closet|| doesn't matter, he isnt famous anymore.

28. Do you now wonder what you were thinking?
no! he's mine, so thus deserves to be in the said closet, in a non alluding gay way.

29. Who was your first crush in school?
You.

30. As a child, what kind of car did you want when you grew up?
The Batmobile.

31. Did your parents spank you?
They poke me with a stick occasionally.

32. Did your parents fight a lot when you were a kid?
They figured it was a good way to make sure I was still alive.

33. Did your parents get divorced or stay married?
Especially since I don't snore.

34. ??
Yes, though that is a very deep dark secret which I would never reveal.

35. Did you ever run away from home?
I did once. Hence the chain.

36. How old were you when/if you first got glasses?
I got my first eye patch in third grade. I lost my second eye shortly after. I didn't like the eyepatches, so I got glasses in fourth grade.

37. Did you need braces or a retainer?
yes, my poor bent legs. boo hoo.

38. When did you get your period or hit puberty?
I skipped it and went straight to menopause. Less work that way.

39. Both sexes, when did you start shaving?
I think it was just after menopause when I started shaving my chin.

40. Girls, when did you start wearing a bra?
thats sexist. are they saying boys cant wear bras? i am so appalled, i am not even going to answer that question until someone changes it to include all sexes! P.S.- I am not a boy wearing a bra.

41. What was your first kiss like?
It was a dark and moonless night. This vampire swopped down and smacked me straight in neck.

42. What did you do on your first date?
I...think I became a living dead person. I could be wrong. I could just get sunburned real easily, and burst into flames just for impulse.

43. How old were you when you first drank?
I had my first taste of blood shortly after my first date. Yeah...I am pretty sure I am not a living dead person.

44. Where was your first house?
St. Olaf.
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Nov. 4th, 2005|01:41 am]
alphabetically delicious



16 years old, with golden locks. Falling to her shoulders in waving curls. A mouth that sucked hungrily at cigarettes, questing for her next boost that'll send her high above life.

16 years old, with her brown eyes, that searched curiously all around. Scheming, mischievious, her way might be, always desperately avoiding the next down.

47 years old, shoulders bent forward, lips puckering, seeking for more. Drained of her shield of beating back life, fingers scratching at the fake tresses.

47 years old, given a few months to live, cancer ravaging her body. Her mind is hazed off of drugs and the strokes, and doesnt even know her own name.

Wearing all black, watching the autumn sky. Wilted trees, barren lands, and a cigarrete never leaving her hand.

Peace on, Aunt Rob.
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Oct. 31st, 2005|11:18 pm]
alphabetically delicious
||||The Stupidest Survey Ever?!?||||

||What _______ are you most afraid of?||
*clothing? thongs.
*colour? hot pink.
*age? 20.
*hairstyle? bald.
*animal? opossum.
*insect? arachnids.
*person? cliched people.
*time of day? noon.
*food? red meats.
*butt? hairy ones.

||What ______ are you most digusted of?||
*dessert? pure dark chocolate.
*ruler/dictator/prez/etc.? Hitler. He had history on his side, and he still fucked up. haha, loser.
*celebrity? Drew Barrymore chic.
*parent/legal gaurdian? neither.
*political correctness? that every other race but white people can have a party. ;D.
*commercial? the one for the chocolate/fondue/whatever maker.
*music band? those black eyed pee pee people.
*credit card? american express.
*car insurance? geico. though great commercials.
*cell phone? sprint.

||What ______ do you most adore?||
*physical trait? collar bones.
*moral standing? staying true to myself (sings it.)
*internet browser? firefox/mozilla
*plant? peanuts.
*travel spot? anywhere.
*cartoon? batman. duh.
*year? 2000.
*season? autumn.
*torture device? tickling.
*retail store? borders.
*book? dictionary.

||What ______ can you most imagine yourself doing?||
*crime? murder.
*sex position? uh.
*job? starving artist!
*scam? gold digging.
*extreme stunt? base diving.
*practical joke? taking over someones computer.
*drug? alcohol.

||What ______ can you most imagine yourself having?||
*type of home? apartment.
*tree? plum.
*pet? cat.
*tea? green.
*type of acne? white heads.
*pajamas? shirt and undies.
*shoes? none.
*sports team? a hockey team.
*car? a fast one.
*type of lover? a funny one.
*computer? fujitsu.
*country? a small, pretty one. like, thailand. though too many people.
*kid? a hellraiser.
*chemical cleaner? grease lightning.
*painting? heironymus bosch: garden of earthly delights.
*15 minutes of fame? accidently blowing something important up.
linkpost comment

(no subject) [Oct. 28th, 2005|04:54 pm]
alphabetically delicious
1.ARE YOU OVER 18?
Old enough to vote, young enough to bum my parents car insurance, and not old enough to gamble

2. WHAT IS THE WALLPAPER ON YOUR MOBILE PHONE?
If I paid money for wallpapers...it would be batman.

3. DID YOU GET ENOUGH SLEEP LAST NIGHT?
Yes. I went to bed at 3 am, and got up at 5 am. Thus I am alert and eager and can give 112.6% on this quizzamenger thing. Talk about A++ sexiness.

4. FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT ABOUT THIS MORNING WHEN YOU WOKE UP?
"Who the hell shops at Lowes at 6 am? Who? WHO?!"

5. WHAT DO YOU HAVE HANDY AT YOUR BEDSIDE?
hairties and pens.

6. GRILLED OR FRIED?
neither. I have a fixation on cold foods.

7. WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE?
my lack of uniqueness.

8. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
Those books were funny.

9. FAVORITE HANGOUT?
my garage. bookstores. random in the corner places that feel contaminated. dangerous places. mountains. deserts. rivers. oceans. cliffs. pool halls. flea markets. city streets. highways. in my car. farmers market. your closet.

10. 3 THINGS YOU CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT?
paper, pen, batman.

11. FIRST THING YOU WILL BUY IF GIVEN 1 THOUSAND DOLLARS?
Better to hoarde, die with millions while living the life as a pauper.

12. FAVORITE SONGS WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING?
Silence.

13. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
uhh...nothing right now. I'll get back to you on that one.

14. ARE YOU A GIVER OR TAKER?
I am a space cadet!

15. WHAT IS YOUR DAD'S MIDDLE NAME?
Bryan, which is also technically his first.

16. MOST RECENT MOVIE THAT YOU WATCHED?
This cat movie. It's by that ghigli guy, or whatnot. I can't pay attention to movies anymore, and the only movies I do watch are actually animations, because I like storyboarding, animating, and the such. I suck?

17. STUCK ON A DESERTED ISLAND & COULD HAVE ONLY ONE KIND OF FOOD FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
That's stupid. If you are on an island, there would be some vegetation, bugs, and sea creatures, unless if it was in the arctic, in which you would die a grisly frozen death anyway. Even there, there is fish and penguins. Using creativity, you can come up with interesting recipes, though you might die during experimentation.

18. FAVORITE T.V. COMMERCIAL?
...I don't watch tv. However! I love commercials. I find them fascinating: I pay attention to music, colours, sales pitch, humour, creativity and the effect it has on the human psychosis. I have a journal in which I write down any elements which I find extremely successful. I also make charts of successful commercials and the offshoots of them. So far the ones I find the most successful are the geico spoof ones, and the vehix.com one, as they utilize a fresh perspective to commercials. Though they are kinda old hat now, and lost their potency on the market due to overuse and offshoots. Do you realize that the vehix.com commercials are so well done that you can't help but think of cars when you hear any variant of the demo techno music they use? Unfortunately, that music has became popular in gazillion offshoot commercials...they really should've bought the rights to it. I also download commercials from around the world. There is this cool one in switzerland for a grocer, which uses a cool fruit molding scheme. Right now though, the japanese have it down for crazy commercials schemes. (p.s.- I am a graphic designer? I suck?)

19. FIRST THING YOU'LL SAVE IN A FIRE?
Melman. It has every piece of my art in it...EVER. And has the ability for me to practice and study art even furthermore by fellow internet artisans.

20. YOUR EYE COLOR?
Blue with these funny yellow rings.

21. WHAT ARE THE THINGS YOU ALWAYS BRING?
A pen. A wig.

22. WHAT DID YOU WANNA BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID?
A world renown fugitive, for crazy schemes...like robbing banks, which I realize is stupid now, because banks are void of money.

23. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY DO WHEN THE CLOCK TURNS 7 AM?
Contemplate world domination.

24. THE COLOR OF YOUR BEDSHEET?
These weird flower ones, in pastels that my mom bought for the guest bedroom, which was a guest room until I return home to be a bum. I wanted Batman ones from Walmart, but I am too poor to buy any. (Hoarde! Hoarde!)

25. WHO DO U WANT TO MEET?
Uh. Some random internet people, because they are silly. But its not really critical. More like, wow, it would be interesting to see how this person is in real life. Probably anorexic.

26. HOW'S LIFE TODAY?
"Who the hell shops at Lowes at 6 in the morning? Who? WHO?"

in other words...groovy.

thanks shoe! I steal all these weird things from the marmalade guy. Zing!
link2 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Oct. 22nd, 2005|01:10 am]
alphabetically delicious
There was a rant here, but I got bored with it...uh....days ago.

So instead, I'll write a story.

Peter sat on the doorstep. Brain on chin, chin on hands, elbow on knees. He mused as the sun set in the distance, and wondered about his existence. Though brief, it is still an existence. And he knew that is what set him apart from animals and stupider people that were also animals. The ability to ponder his own existence.

Deep down, he knew he wasn't that concerned about his existence, but he disliked animals. So he took the practical steps to disassociate himself from animals. This included higher philosophy.

He scratched a mosquito from his cheek, muttering a small curse that exhaled in front of him. The mosquito knew her place was to suck as much blood as possible in her short life as possible. Short, succint, and to the point. Blood. Suck. End. Repeat. Shampoo commercials at their finest.

Shampoo Commercials. He was in advertising up to two years ago. Peter isnt sure why everything happens two years ago, but thats how it happens in most stories. Two years ago is probably a significant number. In most other stories, a year ago is also a favourite. Peter figured that two years just was a softened step from one, and made the main character more mysterious because more time was contemplated on whatever happened two years ago, leaving out obvious details. Peter knew he was in advertising two years ago, and he slept with the wrong secretary at the wrong time in the wrong place with the wrong sex. Thats not too bad considering the advertising business, but things got grimy when Peter decided to step out of the brief relationship with the boss's son. His last project was a damn shampoo product. He wanted to put a new spin to the "repeat" mantra that is plastered on the back of every shampoo bottle under direction. Screw the repeat, if you have a good enough shampoo. His opinion changed after he screwed Daniel, and decided that there are some products you don't want to repeat for an equally bad reason. The next morning the pink slip was shuffled in the mail that was dropped at his desk.

He swatted at the mosquito again. Damn mosquitoes and their mission in life. Hell, he knew his blood couldn't taste all that well. He was pretty sure he was anemic, with weak and soupy blood. Then again, he was probably the only source for human blood for miles upon miles. Probably the only supply present in months, maybe years. He was a rare delicacy, though a poorly made one. Still rare.

That made him smile. A rare delicacy. He glanced at the gun sitting beside him. He had bought the gun barely four hours ago, and felt the smooth casing, and almost had an orgasm on the spot. He figured that since it was his last purchase, he could buy something slightly fancy. He had opted for a glock, and felt almost satisfied that there wouldn't be much of anything left after that bugger goes off. If there was one thing he learned from the advertising world, always go out with a bang.

A rare delicacy. The words re-echoed through his head. He tried zoning back into his life's existence, but the phrase mused in his ears, whispering like a lover. Then he frowned, concentrating on the words, until advertising genius suddenly drummed around him. He knew it. He knew it, he found it, and he knew it. An advertising idea that'll throw him back into the ring. A mosquito lighted on his arm, and instead of shooing it, he smiled down at the creature that got his creative juices flowing back in his brains. He wanted to kiss, make out with the creature that presented him with a brilliant idea that would make his name known throughout the advertising world. He was satisfied and delirious that he rekindled his existence of life. He stood up, a sharp profile against a setting sky, and cried out to the heavens as salvation alighted upon him. Maybe there was a God, a God who saved him in this brief moment where he thought all was lost.

He stared at the birds that flocked in the sky, small specs against a celestial canvas. He closed his eyes, savouring this moment, and they opened to once more drown in the beauty of life. Then a worry wrinkle in between his brows deepened. One of the specs had grown substantially bigger. The smile stopped, and the corners froze downwards once more. The spec was growing. He stepped backwards, instinct willing him to run, but curiosity willing him to stay. He focused onto the expanding spec, rapidly expoloding outwards as whatever it was quickly honed in on him.

Peter felt horror erupt inside him. He couldn't...no wouldn't believe, what was coming at him. Curiosity fell behind as disbelief took over, then quickly fear outdistanced both. A scream tore at his throat as he turned hastily away, only to slip on the glock he pruchased a mere four hours ago. He fell face down into the deserted decking, and gagging for breath he turned around just in time to see the monstrosity light before him.

"Sheesh, humans," the 10 foot mosquito said resolutely before plunging her sucker deep into Peter's brain, "too many running around without a damn clue."
link3 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Oct. 17th, 2005|12:23 am]
alphabetically delicious
Oh schnapp. This mother fudger still exists?

Anywho, my name is ________________. I am ___ years old, and have no life. I work at Lowes, earning $9/hr., as a cashier. I spend my days reading, usually reading one book a day, usually cheap crappy books I buy for $0.25. I also beat the bloody crappums out of my punching bag daily. During my breaks I play Sudoku, and crossword puzzles. Nightly I draw one thing, or work on a project. I day dream too often, my eyes becoming gray and dull as eye salt gathers in the corners. In the mornings I drag my butt out into the cold and run four miles, gasping to keep up with my hyper active border collie who is incredibly emo and is trying to run away by opening the front door and jumping into stranger's trucks. I eat too much, and bake too much, and cook too much. I rearrange furniture when I get in a bad mood. I wash my hair every four days. I write something about once a week, simply because I get an itch. I am campaigning to have the cable t.v. turned off in our house. I havent watched a real life movie since forever. The last movie I actually saw was the Corpse Bride, simply because I admire Tim Burton's creativity, though I disdained the producer's choice of a composer. I am cutting out diet cokes, simply because I am sure I have tumour growing from my diet coke addiction during college. I am landscaping my parent's yard. I am drawing comics, though the RIP comic I actually got online is probably on permenant hiatus. I have photographs, drawings, and articles sticky tacked throughout my room. My computer is probably one of my most prized possessions, simply because I can't imagine living without photoshop, illustrator, and fruit loops. Pineapple juice spilt on it a few weeks ago. Though the keys are sticky, and who knows what damage there is, I can't take it in for repair cause the thought of going without photoshop for any time limit makes my stomach clench. I was a vegeterian, but due to my sugar levels and other health problems shit, I reintroduced chicken and fish. I do a 100 situps and 900 crunchies a day, though push ups are killing me. I was born without any upper body strength. I despise my grandmother-in-law, and imagine her being abducted by aliens and having probes stabbed into her Christian tight wad butt. I play the piano and the flute, and am learning the guitar. I have a good singing voice, yet oddly am tone deaf, and rythmically defunctional. I only drive stick shift cars, and have my eye on a VW GTI. I have a black cat named Tobi who hates our new addition, Pazu, a five month old brown tabby with a big tail and small head. I make my own bread. My little sister and I are so close we finish eachother sentances and even exclaim phrases at the same exact moment. I was a Christian, and even now I think I still am, but I am not a Christian according to Christian standards. I like sleeping on sidewalks.

My name is _______________. I am ___ years old. This is a fair representation of my life, as of now.
link5 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Jul. 17th, 2005|12:03 am]
alphabetically delicious
Hahaha, Harry Potter Midnight Release Parties. Partook in all three that were around town like a whore!

Though I am not a huge fan of Harry Potter. =(.

Makes me feel like a cheap whore. =(.

And whenever I see wet cement, I get this weird urge to take off my pants to do a butt print. I think that's normal though. So I am not worried about it.

other stupid stuff I wrote for my singular entertainment!Collapse )

So, if I actually stuck my arse in wet cement...would people be able to tell it was an arse? Cause they poured cement in for the driveway across the street, and hell...I am tempted.
link4 comments|post comment

I like designing nonsense posters =X. [Jul. 1st, 2005|12:06 am]
alphabetically delicious
link5 comments|post comment

(no subject) [Jun. 18th, 2005|08:09 pm]
alphabetically delicious
Damn it, I have that itchy artistic wedgie again =(.

In other words, I want to draw something, but my mind is in a zone of no creativity.

So basically, I am taking requests and/or do collabs, art trades, etc.

toodles!
link4 comments|post comment

This is a very personal entry. Please respect me like a pimp! [May. 30th, 2005|12:12 am]
alphabetically delicious
I have neon orange underwear.

I have a black cat with an attitude.

Add them together you get:

pissed off cat in neon orange underwear.

P.S.- speaking of underwear, I taught my dog how to play fetch by throwing my panties across the room. =O! For some reason he always brought them back. I guess he thought I needed them. =(.
link1 comment|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | 10 entries back ]
[ go | earlier/later ]